News Report
2000
“The dead have been rising out of cemeteries
Across the world and have begun feasting on the living”
Cut to Different Report
“The government has declared a state of emergency
And has warned people not to leave their
Homes unless absolutely necessary
And make sure all windows and doors
Are securely shut and locked
Stay safe….. Stay alive……….”
Report 3
“As you can see the Zombies have completely
Taken over, it’s now estimated that 1 in every 4
People are actually Zombies…….”
(Zombies gather in background with signs)
“HEY! Can’t you see I’m reporting here? ....
As I was saying, 1 in every 4 people….. Get the
BEEP off me!”
(Loud Groans as Zombies begin to
Get closer and touch him)
“RIGHT THAT’S IT!”
(Reporter begins to beat up Zombies)
(Zombies Begin to engulf him as he screams
For his life)
(Camera suddenly cuts out into ‘Technical Difficulties’ Sign
Audience hears happy music and screams)
Scene 2
Narrator
“That was 5 years ago today and now Zombies
Live amongst us freely.
In this Documentary we dig deep to uncover
The truth about how Zombies really live and are
Treated in this new… Zombie Nation!”
Zombie Nation Music Reaches Chorus
Edited mix of zombies walking, feeding ducks,
Drinking, playing on swings and generally having fun.
Music quietens
Scene 3
Cut back to reporter being attacked
Zoom out to reveal its on a TV
TV Switches off
We Pan out further to see that a Zombie
Was watching and was annoyed by it
Narrator
“This is young John Smith, he has been a
Zombie for 2 years now and is comfortable
With his Zombiality”
John Smith
“Well yes it did take me a while to come to
terms with the fact, and my parents didn’t like
the idea of me staying out late and eating
humans and coming back in the morning
all manky and rotted, so I ate them
hahahahaha
no but Seriously”
Narrator
“Like many young Zombies, John likes to
go to his local Zombie youth club
Once belonging to the now Zombified
Scout club, here he feels normal
and doesn’t feel ridiculed”
Camera follows from behind and John walks
To Youth club, talking over his shoulder
John Smith
“Coming to the Youth Club is Great,
here I can be normal like
All the other guys
Points at Goths and Laughs
,and hang out with friends and
Maybe play pool and talk to girls
Hahahahha
Hey! Here are some of my friends now”
Narrator
“Deirdre is 600 years old today and runs the
Youth Club”
Deirdre
“Well I’ve been running the youth club for
3 years now and it keeps me occupied
ya know when I aint eating people,
Kids enjoy it, and so do I… yeh”
Scene 4
Narrator
“Youth Clubs aren’t the only source of entertainment
for todays Zombie, infact recently films have been
released catering for Zombie Audiences, made by
Zombies, for Zombies. So many of these films
Have been made that they have created an
Entirely new Genre… Zollywood”
“Such Films Include the now Famous
‘Night of the Living’
Night of the Living
Zombie 1
“Hey look! Lets go say hello to these nice people”
Zombie 2
“Sure why not! Lets give them sweets and tell
them stories and hug them and kiss them
Fred
“OH MY GOD! Margaret, their after us!”
Margaret
“Shoot them Fred! Give the Bastards hell!”
The Zombies approach with arms open wide
Gurgling.
Fred shoots them both
Zombies fall to the ground
Close up of Zombie 1
Zombie 1
Tears fall from his eyes
“Why! I only wanted to love you, what did
I ever do to you?!... I guess…. Ill never…
know…true love!”
Dramatic Death
Narrator
“It is true that Zombies can get around
in life and generally have a decent time,
but some Zombies generally make their life
a living hell, quite literally in cases
we see later.
These two young
zombies, who have chosen
To remain
unnamed, have openly admitted
To being
lesbians, thus making their life
Extraordinarily
hard to live amongst society”
Girl 1
“HI IM JOSEY!!”
Girl 2
“SHUT UP! Bloody
moron”
Girl 1
“Oh yeh! Can we
bleep that out?”
(mumble from
camera man)
“Its live?! SORRY
MARY!!”
Camera Man
“Don’t you find
life difficult as lesbian
Zombies?”
Girl 1
“NO I LOVE IT!!!”
Girl 2
“Yeh yeh, its
really hard, people
like throw eggs
at us and shout
homophobic slurs”
Girl 1
“The sex is fun
though!”
Girl 2 slaps Girl
1 and it breaks out
Into a bitch
fight
Technical
difficulties sign
Narrator
“Relationships between Zombies are
very hard to create, John Smith
explains his problems with getting
a girl friend that understands him”
John Smith
“I have had several relationships,
they have all been with non Zombie
people, they all found it hard to
deal with when they found out what
I was, after all, they just thought
I was a Goth or something, apart
From one girl, she found it a turn
On, but she died
Hahahahahahahaha! (evil Laugh)
But seriously, I ate her!”
Narrator
“John’s current relationship is with
little Amy Howard, she is a Zombie
and finally John has found someone
who understands him”
Amy Howard
Gurgles as she drags herself across
The floor
John Smith
“Cmon dear, lets get an ice cream!”
Amy Howard
“Glurgggg!!!”
John Smith
“Oh I love you!”
Camera Man
“Is she aware of the relationship?”
John Smith
“Of course she…. (Stairs into
Mid distance)”
Amy Howard
Pukes on floor and stops moving
John Smith
“Oh dear, not again”
“this is what makes my life so bad”
puts gun in mouth and shoots
Just as audience hears gun shot
The camera goes black
Camera Man
“Whats left for you now then?”
John Smith
(big plaster on cheek)
“Well I guess I better look for
another girl”