News Report

2000

“The dead have been rising out of cemeteries

Across the world and have begun feasting on the living”

 

Cut to Different Report

“The government has declared a state of emergency

And has warned people not to leave their

Homes unless absolutely necessary

And make sure all windows and doors

Are securely shut and locked

Stay safe….. Stay alive……….”

 

Report 3

“As you can see the Zombies have completely

Taken over, it’s now estimated that 1 in every 4

People are actually Zombies…….”

(Zombies gather in background with signs)

“HEY! Can’t you see I’m reporting here? ....

As I was saying, 1 in every 4 people….. Get the

BEEP off me!”

(Loud Groans as Zombies begin to

Get closer and touch him)

“RIGHT THAT’S IT!”

(Reporter begins to beat up Zombies)

(Zombies Begin to engulf him as he screams

For his life)

(Camera suddenly cuts out into ‘Technical Difficulties’ Sign

Audience hears happy music and screams)

 

Scene 2

Narrator

“That was 5 years ago today and now Zombies

Live amongst us freely.

In this Documentary we dig deep to uncover

The truth about how Zombies really live and are

Treated in this new… Zombie Nation!”

Zombie Nation Music Reaches Chorus

Edited mix of zombies walking, feeding ducks,

Drinking, playing on swings and generally having fun.

Music quietens

 

 

 

 

 

Scene 3

Cut back to reporter being attacked

Zoom out to reveal its on a TV

TV Switches off

We Pan out further to see that a Zombie

Was watching and was annoyed by it

 

Narrator

“This is young John Smith, he has been a

Zombie for 2 years now and is comfortable

With his Zombiality”

 

John Smith

“Well yes it did take me a while to come to

terms with the fact, and my parents didn’t like

the idea of me staying out late and eating

humans and coming back in the morning

all manky and rotted, so I ate them

hahahahaha

no but Seriously”

 

Narrator

“Like many young Zombies, John likes to

go to his local Zombie youth club

Once belonging to the now Zombified

Scout club, here he feels normal

and doesn’t feel ridiculed”

Camera follows from behind and John walks

To Youth club, talking over his shoulder

 

John Smith

“Coming to the Youth Club is Great,

here I can be normal like

All the other guys

Points at Goths and Laughs

,and hang out with friends and

Maybe play pool and talk to girls

Hahahahha

Hey! Here are some of my friends now”

 

Narrator

“Deirdre is 600 years old today and runs the

Youth Club”

 

 

 

 

 

Deirdre

“Well I’ve been running the youth club for

3 years now and it keeps me occupied

ya know when I aint eating people,

Kids enjoy it, and so do I… yeh”

 

Scene 4

Narrator

“Youth Clubs aren’t the only source of entertainment

for todays Zombie, infact recently films have been

released catering for Zombie Audiences, made by

Zombies, for Zombies. So many of these films

Have been made that they have created an

Entirely new Genre… Zollywood”

“Such Films Include the now Famous

‘Night of the Living’

 

 

 

 

Night of the Living

Zombie 1

“Hey look! Lets go say hello to these nice people”

 

Zombie 2

“Sure why not! Lets give them sweets and tell

them stories and hug them and kiss them

 

Fred

“OH MY GOD! Margaret, their after us!”

 

Margaret

“Shoot them Fred! Give the Bastards hell!”

The Zombies approach with arms open wide

Gurgling.

Fred shoots them both

Zombies fall to the ground

Close up of Zombie 1

 

Zombie 1

Tears fall from his eyes

“Why! I only wanted to love you, what did

I ever do to you?!... I guess…. Ill never…

know…true love!”

Dramatic Death

 

 

Narrator

“It is true that Zombies can get around

in life and generally have a decent time,

but some Zombies generally make their life

a living hell, quite literally in cases

we see later.

These two young zombies, who have chosen

To remain unnamed, have openly admitted

To being lesbians, thus making their life

Extraordinarily hard to live amongst society”

 

Girl 1

“HI IM JOSEY!!”

 

Girl 2

“SHUT UP! Bloody moron”

 

Girl 1

“Oh yeh! Can we bleep that out?”

(mumble from camera man)

“Its live?! SORRY MARY!!”

 

Camera Man

“Don’t you find life difficult as lesbian

Zombies?”

 

Girl 1

“NO I LOVE IT!!!”

 

 

Girl 2

“Yeh yeh, its really hard, people

like throw eggs at us and shout

homophobic slurs”

 

Girl 1

“The sex is fun though!”

 

Girl 2 slaps Girl 1 and it breaks out

Into a bitch fight

 

Technical difficulties sign

 

Narrator

“Relationships between Zombies are

very hard to create, John Smith

explains his problems with getting

a girl friend that understands him”

 

John Smith

“I have had several relationships,

they have all been with non Zombie

people, they all found it hard to

deal with when they found out what

I was, after all, they just thought

I was a Goth or something, apart

From one girl, she found it a turn

On, but she died

Hahahahahahahaha! (evil Laugh)

But seriously, I ate her!”

 

Narrator

“John’s current relationship is with

little Amy Howard, she is a Zombie

and finally John has found someone

who understands him”

 

Amy Howard

Gurgles as she drags herself across

The floor

 

John Smith

“Cmon dear, lets get an ice cream!”

 

Amy Howard

“Glurgggg!!!”

 

John Smith

“Oh I love you!”

 

Camera Man

“Is she aware of the relationship?”

 

John Smith

“Of course she…. (Stairs into

Mid distance)”

 

Amy Howard

Pukes on floor and stops moving

 

John Smith

“Oh dear, not again”

“this is what makes my life so bad”

puts gun in mouth and shoots

 

Just as audience hears gun shot

The camera goes black

 

Camera Man

“Whats left for you now then?”

 

John Smith

(big plaster on cheek)

“Well I guess I better look for

another girl”